


rosewater

by Super_Danvers



Category: Snowpiercer (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, Post 2x07, Season 2, snowpiercer - Freeform, snowpiercer season 2, zarah x miss audrey, zaudrey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:55:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29944116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Super_Danvers/pseuds/Super_Danvers
Summary: Zarah learns of Miss Audrey's choice.
Relationships: Miss Audrey & Wilford (Snowpiercer), Miss Audrey/Zarah Ferami
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	rosewater

“How do we know she hasn’t betrayed the train? For all we know, Audrey could be strutting around Big Alice freshly shagged and in a bathrobe, calling the shots just as much as Wilford.”

“Don’t talk about her like that.”

All eyes in the Engine turned. Zarah had been sat in the corner for about half an hour, silently listening to the others discuss the next step for Snowpiercer following Audrey’s decision to stay on Big Alice. These were the first words she’d spoken in that half hour, and the harsh spit of her words caught everybody’s attention. Hearing them talk about Audrey like she was a traitor was downright wrong, not to mention cruel. They didn’t know what Audrey had gone through to sum up the courage to go over the border.

“Don’t talk about her like that.” She repeated. “Audrey would never betray this train; we all know that, so shut up about it.”

Ruth scoffed. “Well, no offense Zarah, but she hasn’t come back and we don’t have access to Wilford’s comms either so how do you expect us to look at it? We can’t wait for a solution that may never come.”

“That doesn’t mean we should count Audrey out.”

Layton, sensing both women’s flaring tempers, stepped forward. “We aren’t counting her out, Zarah, and we’re not saying she’s a traitor either.” He assured. “But facts are facts and the fact is, she’s on Big Alice. So, for now, we need another plan of action that doesn’t involve Audrey. If she can’t get access to his comms, we have to find a way of getting into Wilford’s engine without him knowing.”

Ruth glared at the brunette in the chair. Although they’d become good friends over the past couple of weeks, they still had their disagreements. Usually, these ended in Zarah making a good point or Ruth letting it go and finding something else to be annoyed about. Evidently, this time wasn’t one of those occasions because Zarah stood from her chair with a look of upset on her face.

“Perhaps we should worry about our own train instead of the one back there.” She fumed. “Seven Breachmen are dead and riots are starting up all over the train. We shouldn’t be concerned with whatever Wilford has going on because if we can’t unite and stand against him together, he won’t even have to take over Snowpiercer. Passengers of the train will do it themselves and we will all die.”

Ben looked stunned, Layton seemed morose and Ruth had her tongue in her cheek, like she wanted to respond but knew best not to. Zarah turned away and stormed to the door. She keyed the pad and as it opened, she looked over her shoulder and scowled.

“We never should’ve sent Audrey over there.”

+

Audrey slipped back under the water as Wilford called her name again. Down here, his voice was muffled and didn’t grate her ears quite so much, and she could pretend he wasn’t there. Down here, she could pretend she was her normal self and she wasn’t the woman who had shoved poor Kevin to the floor to lick Wilford’s slipper. God, just when she thought she couldn’t hate herself more, she had to go and do that. Audrey was disgusted with herself. Disgusted with herself and disgusted with Wilford. Same thing really. _How could she have done that?_

She hated herself.

“Audrey!” Wilford’s voice yelled, angrier now. That was the tone that told her to get out of the bath, _now_.

She did, coming above the water and stepping out of the tub. She shivered as she reached for her bath robe, which hung on the back of the bathroom door. Through the door, which was ajar, she could hear Wilford talking down the phone. About what and who to, she couldn’t place. He sounded calm, she could pick up that much, almost amused but not in that awful sneer he always used. Genuine, like it was someone he actually cared for. Audrey figured it must be Alex or maybe he was speaking to Icy Bob; she knew he cared about them.

“You’ve got a phone call, my dear.” Wilford sneered as Audrey entered the main room. He held out the phone to her. “I’ve just been chatting with her while she waited for you.”

Audrey frowned. _Her?_ Had to be Ruth, asking why she’d stayed over the border or why she wasn’t back. Either way, she was probably in for a lecture or a screaming match.

Wilford laughed at Audrey’s visible confusion. “She says her name is Zarah Ferami.” He winked and stood to leave as Audrey took the phone. “I think I’ll leave you to it, songbird.”

She knew he didn’t mean that. Wilford was always waiting, always watching her. If he actually did leave her alone, he would probably go and toy with Kevin in the bedroom and that poor boy had been through enough. Audrey had felt even worse after Wilford had driven his slipper straight into Kevin’s nose, hard, and broken it with one kick. He didn’t deserve anymore torture. This phone call couldn’t be long.

She took Wilford’s seat and held the phone up to her ear. “Zarah?”

A sigh of relief came through the phone line. _“Audrey! God, it’s so good to hear your voice!”_

Audrey let herself have a small smile. It was good to hear Zarah’s voice too, _hell_ , beyond good. Her heart felt like it was soaring.

“Hello, love. I’ve missed you.”

_“I’ve missed you too, so much. Are you safe over there? You’re not hurt or anything? Please, we need you back here. Come back, please.”_

“You know I can’t come back.”

 _“Yes, you can! You said it yourself: Mr Wilford won’t keep you there, not if you don’t want to stay.”_ There was a brief pause. _“You don’t_ want _to stay, right?”_

Audrey could hear the sadness in Zarah’s tone, and it broke her heart to hear it. She loved Zarah, dearly, and she’d always been afraid to tell her and as the days went on, it felt less and less likely that she would ever get to tell her.

“Of course, I don’t, darling. I’m fine here, perfectly safe and sound.”

_“Please, come back.”_

“I can’t, Zarah.”

_“Well, why not?”_

“It’s complicated. Look-“

Zarah’s voice grew angrier. _“No, it isn’t. It’s as simple as its dangerous over there and we need you back. I need you back, okay? Me! Why can’t you get that through your head that I love you and I need you and I need you back here, on Snowpiercer, with me.”_ There was another pause, a sigh, and then: _“I’m begging you, Audrey. Come home.”_

Audrey hung up without another word. She wanted to cry. It was taking everything not to. Instead, she sniffed and scuttled back to the bathroom. As she reached the door, she called down the car that the engine was free again. Wilford would probably appear in a few seconds. Audrey just hoped he hadn’t hurt Kevin too much.

She clambered back into the bath, letting the hot water burn her skin and lull her eyes gently shut. She wanted to cry; she could feel it building up like lava in her chest. Zarah told her she loved her, and she’d said nothing in response. _She’d hung up._ She hadn’t even bothered to ask if Zarah was alright, if the baby was alright, how she’d managed to call her, anything. God, she was so _selfish_. Audrey’s palms let go of the rim of the tub and she sank beneath the water again. She hated herself.

+

Zarah burst into tears the moment she put the phone back into its slot. She knew she was supposed to be quiet because Ben had snuck her into the Engine so she could make the call, but it was too much to bear.

He’d gone back to bed, leaving her to cry her tears alone. It was times like these that Zarah would usually go and find Audrey and curl up in her arms and sob until she fell asleep. But, of course, Audrey wasn’t in her dressing room or asleep in her attic bed. She wasn’t waiting for her at the bar or in one of the therapy rooms at the back of the Nightcar and she wasn’t smelling of fresh linen or damp grass. No, Audrey was miles away on Big Alice. What was the expression Ruth had used? _Freshly shagged and bathing in rosewater._

Zarah missed her so much. She’d been reluctant to let her go in the first place and had been counting down the minutes until she could see her again. Audrey was her closest friend on the train and she didn’t know what she’d do without her. She stifled another sob into the crook of her elbow, hoping she wouldn’t wake the sleeping engineers.

Bennett had left his Walkman out and Zarah cradled it close, pulling the orange headphones over her ears. Of course, most of his music was Nirvana and Thin Lizzy but occasionally, between the loud rock songs, one of Audrey’s songs would play. They were the ones that Zarah had heard were constantly played over Big Alice, the ones Audrey had recorded before the Freeze.

She never got to hear Audrey’s old songs because Audrey refused to sing them. _‘People want to hear what they know_ , that’s what she’d always say. Zarah argued that they just wanted to hear Audrey, but she’d never believed it. Audrey sounded beautiful even then, ethereal like she was some celestial being. Her songs, although beautiful, were laden with pain. Zarah sat back and gazed out at the snow, listening to how Audrey sang about a foredooming man, and wondered if she’d ever see her again.

**Author's Note:**

> Something new! I know it's only short and a bit depressing but more zaudrey shall come, fear not


End file.
